WIL do it!

All bundled up on a cold day with my dog Blade.

The cats prefer to do things their own way!

Hi Friends! Yesterday, I found myself doing some emotional eating and thought that it would really help to write it out and process through some of my feelings.

This all has to do with my baby shower which should not be stressful - but you know how things like this can get weird!

One of my good friends had offered to throw one for "us" as it would be open to significant others as well. She is a very busy person and I questioned her several times about being sure that she wanted to commit her time to something like this. She insisted that it was definitely something that she wanted to do.

Cut to NOW and still no real plans had been set in motion.

It's starting to feel like "crunch time" as I'm due the beginning of March. Let's face it, we need STUFF for this kid and having a party is one good way to get off on the right foot.

If people are to attend a function, it seems courteous to give them plenty of notice, right? I felt the need to turn to my sister-in-law (she does not have a traditional-type job thus seemingly more time to put together a shower). She had the menu, invitations and date set within a matter of 24 hours!

So you can guess what happened next...The friend got offended and called it "awkward" to have this happen.

Well, that certainly wasn't my intention but it's also not about her. It's about the child I will be bringing into this world soon - and celebrating that with friends and family. I was bothered by my friend's reaction and really felt that in some ways, she needed to take responsibility for her actions and "own" the fact that she really hadn't contacted me about the shower.

Besides, my SIL has all the info on family in the area and the appropriate people to invite. It seemed easier to have someone like her do it and my MIL will make the cake, etc. Now the ball is rolling! No thanks to my friend. I felt frustrated, panicky about not doing it sooner, unworthy of even having a party in the first place and all kinds of dark and lonely thoughts threatened to stake a claim in my brain.

I sat on the couch and ate a Jello Chocolate Pudding Cup (the 60 calorie kind) with Cool-Whip Light and didn't even taste it. When the sweet and creamy gave me no comfort, I rooted around for some Chex Mix and did the salty crunchy thing. I wasn't aware of what I was doing until a few minutes later when I felt a little queasy. Then I finally realized that I had "stuffed" my unpleasant feelings.

I hated to disappoint my friend but was also resentful at her lack of planning. I was stressed in general about having a baby shower. What if it's bad weather and no one can come? What if people feel obligated to bring gifts and that is too uncomfortable to those on a budget? WHAT IF...you get the idea.

I'm turning it into a positive by focusing on my gratitude toward my SIL and her can-do attitude. We are a fortunate couple in that our baby will be born into so much love as there are many folks anticipating this event with open hearts. My friend will come to understand that this is the best way for US and if she still wants to have an event in our honor, well, then do it.

The drama attached to these kinds of things is almost amusing. It seems like someone is always unhappy with something, I experienced this when planning my wedding too. I want to please everyone and understand that I don't need to be this way for people to like me - and will strive to be responsible for MY OWN feelings and not those of other people.

I will be more conscious about not eating for comfort. I will stay strong for myself and for this boy that I have wanted so desperately for so many years.

Ok, I'll say it - I will Walk in Loveliness every day! Ya know what's coincidental? Our son will be named Wilson after my husband's late grandfather, so we have been calling him Wil.

The acronym for Walk in Loveliness!