Finding the right mindset

Regular exercise!  This will make a world of difference for me.  I don't know how exactly this will happen or what it will be but I just need to feel it. 
Reasons to get exercise every day:
1.  Gain stamina to keep up with son
2.  Taking the time to focus on my own experience will generate good feelings toward myself.
3.  Exercise is fun!
4.  I love myself and want to remain healthy.
5.  It could lead to weight loss which is a great side benefit
Okay.  No pressure, easy breezy, enjoy life.

Back in the saddle again!  I'll get right to the point - it's time to put more focus on my health and well-being.  I have enjoyed devoting so much time to my wonderful son but the irony is: I feel better and am a better mom when I choose to concentrate on my own health and happiness.  I am so delighted to be revisiting my WIL blog, and enjoying the fact that I really did have success. I can go forward  now and create new ways of feeling great.  I'm not sure exactly what those ways will be - but I had no idea what I was going to do when I sat down and began typing out my feelings back when I first started this project.  I'm excited to see what will happen.  I know I am worth focusing on, I can regain my fitness!  I am ready to have a new experience and shed some physical and emotional weight.  I want this and I know I can do it!  Time for a change.

Lift off

Hello! I've been meaning to revisit my blog for a long time now and today is the day to finally reconnect. I have been loving being a mom and can't put into words the joy that I have found. Just like with everything else, the universe balances the good with the painful and one must experience tumultuous times in order to know when to relax and enjoy the harmony and peace inherent in this existence. So with that I forge a new road of self-discovery with all its twists and turns.
I am gaining strength and perspective regarding how I want to live my life and the areas where I need to focus in order to allow old patterns to lift off, revealing my authentic self.
The bottom line: Stand tall and don't allow myself to be derailed by things that I can't control.

Time to process

Hello! I'm happy to report that my weight loss goals are clicking along. I DID see 179 on the scale one morning but that was after a night that I fell asleep without eating dinner. Having an 8.5 month old will do that to ya. Part of me wanting to "look" better is so that I will have positive perceptions of myself and that will be passed along to my son in that he will have the sense that his mom is a healthy person both inside and out. I want him to feel this way about himself. So, it's not just getting to a certain weight at a certain time (out goes the 10 lbs. by Xmas goal).
I'm still finding my footing as a parent and I have allowed myself to be derailed by criticism. Who hasn't? Lack of sleep has been playing a huge part in me feeling off, I know why they use sleep deprivation as a form of torture for prisoners now!
Through my continued commitment to follow my Walk in Loveliness motto, I'm confident that I will stay on track. OK, so maybe my confidence is a little shaky at times but I'm a rock at my core even though I may melt into tears every now and again or daily.
Other people are not the enemy and I have been targeting others instead of working on myself. This is a process and I will move through it in my own way. I love being a mom and this has been an 'in your face' experience so far! I"m dazzled and amazed every day.

Thoughts and actions

Lately I seem to be struggling with negative scenarios that play out in the "fantasy world of the mind". You know - where you make-up a situation in your head - like someone saying something offensive to you - and then imagine chewing them out - and then truly feeling worked up and stressed out in real life. All because of thoughts.
A lot of these scenarios end in me saying, "Those are YOUR feelings and YOU need to be responsible for them!" to whoever is my target at the time.
I discussed this with my personal coach and gained an interesting perspective on this type of thinking. Perhaps this is a way of self-soothing?
Much like over-eating, shopping, drinking,etc. It is me trying to make myself feel better/different by using a particular outlet. Like over-eating, indeed I feel worse instead of better, yet somehow still have the compulsion to engage in this type of activity.
I'm trying to turn things around now that I've identified this behavior. How can I switch this kind of "default thinking"? Just start thinking positive things instead of negative, right? Well, that's the goal. Thoughts and eating habits are very much tied together for me.
I've begun to ask myself, "What could I be thinking of in place of the negative fantasy?" I could be freed up to ponder limitless ideas and goals. This freedom could lead to the introduction of new positive behaviors which could equal weight-loss! Then I could truly be happy. Right?

STS

Stayed the same this week. That's OK. I DID do my Pilate's DVD which is a huge win since that baby hasn't seen the light of day in months. So I will chalk this up as a very successful start!

Been talking with my personal coach about body image, weight loss, etc. She swears by intuitive eating which I can totally understand. I'm not there yet but it was helpful to talk about 1. eating when I'm hungry 2. eating what I'm hungry for 3. stopping before I'm full 4. getting some physical movement...and there's one more guideline but I can't think of it now.

One thing I am positive about is that it will sure feel good to be lighter on my feet! My heart will greatly benefit from a loss of this kind as well as the rest of my body. It truly is a gift to myself so I will forge ahead. I'm on the right track.